Things I Forgot About Tonight

Things I Forgot About Tonight
6/20/08

I don’t remember going into the Replay. I remember being there, but I don’t remember giving anybody money. This isn’t a next morning testament; it’s basically the same night just much later. I don’t remember anyone checking my ID, but I vaguely remember going inside, but I don’t remember buying any beer. I remember seeing people that I knew, and I remember watching them show up, and I remember them talking to people. And I remember talking to them. There are really only a few people I remember talking to inside. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never forgotten so much and it scares me.
What I do remember is that the one guy from that one hot new band in town that is a door guy at the Replay refused me entry to the inside at 1:45 AM and I said “hey man, can I just go in and take a piss” and he said “go to Jimmy Johns” and pushed me away. He literally put his hand on my chest and pushed me away. And I wanted to say, “Hey man, I really like that band you are in but you are a fucking asshole. Fuck, even if I was trying to get people out I’d let someone in to take a piss. I need to piss, man. If you see me try to buy a beer you can throw me out on the street, I’ll make that agreement because all I have to do is take a goddamned piss and you are being a real asshole.” And he pushed me away. It didn’t really matter, I found my friends, they were there the whole time and I got to take a piss at my house.
I really didn’t have to piss that bad but I wanted to, and that guy pushed me away, and I recognized him as one of the guys in that new band in town that I really liked. I wanted to say “I will make sure that no one ever plays you on KJHK again, you fucking asshole,” but I couldn’t because the band is too good. And I realize that I don’t have to be friends with, or even like people in a band that I like. I’ve gotten by well enough for years, so what difference does it make. Even if I hate someone, if they make good music they make good music. But that doesn’t change the fact that that one dude was an asshole and couldn’t even sympathize with me even though I was trying my best to look like someone he could sympathize with. I don’t look like a bum, I shower regularly and I look like a normal dude, I think, but still I got literally pushed away.
And it just made me want to scream, that’s all I remember. It doesn’t really matter right now, but that’s the only moment tonight at the Replay that I vividly recall. I wanted to scream at that guy and I wanted to tell him to stop being an asshole and to look me in the eye and say “no, you cannot come in and take a piss, even though you aren’t buying anything at the bar and you just want to take a piss, I’m not going to let you in because I’m not going to let anyone in even if you have to take a piss. I don’t care.” I know the Replay etiquette of kicking everyone out twenty minutes before close, and I usually side with the people yelling “get the fuck out” but in this case I just got pissed off, and I only know that because it’s the only thing that I really remember. And I want to see that guy and I want to tell him that he is an asshole, because I kind of had to piss and I wasn’t going to bug the bartender, I just wanted to use the Replay’s crummy bathroom for thirty seconds.
Here are the rules you have to live by if you are a human and you work at the Replay Lounge. There is only one. If it is just around the start of closing time, and someone comes out to you and says “hey man, can I go inside for just a minute, I just need to take a piss” you say “ok.” Even if you say “Ok, but if you try to buy anything I’ll throw you out the front door on your face,” I’m ok with that, because I’m not going to lie to you. If you tell me to go to Jimmy Johns I’m going to think you are an asshole. If you push me away I’m going to think you are a goddamned asshole, and I’m going to wish that I was in some local band so that you would say “ok, you can go in and take a piss.” Maybe if I had gone and found one of my friends in a local band, or maybe if I was some cute girl, I could have gone in and taken a piss, and really it doesn’t matter, it’s just all boiling down to a matter of common courtesy. A respect for your fellow man. One that, if he has to take a piss, and he looks like he really needs to take a piss (I felt like I really needed to take one at the moment) you let him inside, you let fake rules fall apart, and you let him go about his business. If you don’t someone is going to hold a fake grudge against you and when he finally meets you through some channels, I suppose, he will bring up that time you didn’t let him into the Replay to take a piss. And I’m sure he will say “I was just doing my job” and you will have to say, “well, that’s what the Nazis said.”